I HOPE that we have not disappointed all those people who had thought our establishment had closed down and that Patroclos had gone into retirement so he could concentrate on fulfilling his life’s ambition of writing a musical based on the Annan Plan.

I am happy to report that we are open for business once again but would like to apologise in advance if the service is not up to the usual low standard today, but it is not easy to get back into the swing of things after a three-week break.

Little appears to have changed in the regional pillar of stability and security in those three weeks – no breakthrough, not even a small development in the Cyprob – even though Presniktwo managed to come up with a new soundbite. 

He will turn the ‘brain drain’ experienced by Kyproulla into a ‘brain gain,’ he said. And he will achieve this not by resigning, but by visiting London in May, meeting Cypriots working in the UK and persuading them bringing their brain power back to the pillar of stability.

For once, I will fully agree with our Prez, although I suspect the Cypriot brains in the UK are nowhere near enough to cover the brain deficit that existed long before the brain drain began.

A BRAIN drain must exist at the Health Insurance Organisation (HIO), despite the top wages it pays. How else to explain its decision to hire the much-maligned permanent secretary of health ministry Dr Christina Yiannaki, as soon as she retires at the end of this month.

Apparently, there is nobody else in Kyproulla who can do her job – arranging for patients to go for treatment to hospitals abroad. She and another ministry official that will also be hired when she retires, according to an HIO announcement, “are the only available professionals with many years of experiences and specialisation in administering the procedure of sending patients abroad, and as such, the utilisation of their know-how and experience, is deemed necessary.”

The way the HIO has presented the matter, it gives the impression that Dr Yiannaki is needed to perform brain surgery, and nobody else has the know-how, when in fact she will be filling in some standard forms that anyone with a basic IQ, who can read and write could learn to do.

PHILENEWS boss, Giorgos Kallinikou, the angriest writer in Kyproulla, who flies into a fit of rage every day, described the decision as “provocative, infuriating and scandalous,” when he heard about it on Friday. He is obviously not a fan of Dr Yiannaki.

The reality, however, is that she is one of the most powerful women in Kyproulla, commanding the full respect of all members of the political class, none of whom has ever dared say anything remotely critical of her in public. And when she fell out with Health Minister Dr Popi Kanari, a few months after her appointment, it was the minister that was axed by the Prez.

The reason is that Dr Yiannaki has done favours to hundreds, if not thousands of people, arranging for them to go for health treatment abroad, at the taxpayer’s expense, even when treatment was available here. She will be able to continue this humanitarian rusfeti in her new job at the HIO, which will take over the responsibility of sending patients abroad, from the health ministry, as soon as Dr Yiannaki retires.

ODYSSEAS mouthpiece Phil stepped up its campaigning for its hero last week, carrying two reports about his political plans. In the first report it was suggested that Diko was “eyeing” him as a possible presidential candidate as its alignment with Prezniktwo did not have the desired results and failed to give the party the dynamic it wanted. Backing the “popular” Odysseas could help the Diko revival, the report claimed.

In the second report, it was claimed that Odysseas was now considering setting up a movement and standing in next year’s parliamentary elections, because if he waited until the 2028 presidentials his popularity might wane. He had to take advantage of his popularity to avoid becoming the forgotten man. One thing had already been decided, said the report. The name of our saviour’s movement/initiative – ‘Voice of Justice’ – was being abandoned “and new ideas have been put on the table.”

How about National Salvation or The Messiah Movement?

THE SETTING up of another state job has been proposed to the Prez who has shown a big commitment to state job creation. A group representing old age pensioners visited the presidential palace a couple of weeks ago to discuss the problems its members faced with the Prez and the deputy minister of social welfare, Marilena Evangelou.

The President of the Organisation of Elderly Citizens of Cyprus, Antonis Demetriades, said that “one of the problems of old age is the issue of the Commissioner for the Elderly.” He said that “at our request we had a meeting today with the president to discuss this contentious issue, that we have been discussing for many years.”

I bet if you asked 1,000 old age pensioners what the problems of old age were, not a single one would answer the “need for a commissioner for the elderly.”

IT IS A RELIEF that the pillar of stability is too small and inconsequential for President Donald Trump to have heard about it or to want to bring peace to it. After the way he treated poor old President Zelensky at the Oval Office, on Friday, I dread to think how he would propose to solve the Cyprob. Would he ask us to hand over Paphos to Turkey as part of the new diplomacy that rewards the aggressor?

THE GOVERNMENT has found another use for the recently unveiled adjective ‘emblematic’, which the Prez came up with in his state of the union address to describe his policies and reforms. On Wednesday, it was Finance Minister Makis Keravnos’ turn to use the adjective – the proposals for tax reform were ‘emblematic’.

ARE PEOPLE losing their mind? A few days ago Tass news agency carried a story, saying that a woman reported to the Paphos police command that her 16-year-old son had been locked in a room at his school for a few minutes by another student.

This non-case was reported to the Paphos deputy Police chief of operations, Michalis Nicolaou, “who said the case is being investigated by the police in cooperation with the school.” The head teacher told Tass that the school took all the “necessary disciplinary measures and the matter is considered closed.” The perpetrator of the crime was suspended.

Do the police now have to investigate naughtiness at schools?